Why do some timid trees bleed?
Bleed down coarse conifer trunk;
trunk thickly tiled as fish scales.
What measure of woven tales;
tales to tell of gloom and funk.
Funk which blows as restless reed.
Who damaged their skin with gash?
Gash to damage and dare mar;
mar brilliant breath of broken limb.
When did life become so dim?
Dim to strike sorrow’s which scar;
scar wronged then wove to ash.
This rhyme combination is: abccba deffed, (one could continue with a third stanza of ghiihg) every two lines repeat ending word to beginning word, except for the fourth line in each stanza which asks a question. Each stanza begins with a question also.
I’ve been playing with this combinations to simplify in future post.
I’m sure this pattern has been used before, but I was unable to find evidence of the pattern. For now, I’m calling it the turn-about. Kudos to anyone who can tell me if they have seen this pattern before and what its name is.
Linking up at dVerse later today…
Wonderful alliteration enhances this poem. I love how you find such inspiration.
Lovely poem and love the style too, both the rhyming scheme and the repeating of the line end word in the next line. Very clevely woven.
Inventive and lovely work, Patricia! Quite inspirational on a couple of levels! ~ j
Skillfully constructed and packed full of memorable imagery. Great job!
The use of questions in poetry has a powerful effect. One effect of the chained rhyme is to sweep the mind through the poem from line to line. The form has a resemblance to the Karousels we did last week.
I love trees and felt very close to your words. I love hardwood forests, trees sem protected, but when they get separated and stand lone in progress, they can be damages by those who don’t care about life. I liked this poem a lot,
..i think i’ve encountered this form before and it’s really nice to read a poem in this format… it’s kind of a chained poetry but i know it is not… anyway i really like it… it gives an easy flow and great sounding when read aloud… liked the whole poem and really enjoyed the entire read… a wonderful experience to me… smiles…
I like it. The rhyme scheme works well with story.
Cool form, and rhyme scheme and very interesting idea. I think you have a typo – you have “truck” twice instead of “trunk”. I think you mean trunk.
It is very true about these long tears of sap. k.
thanks…
You are a very talented wordsmith, no doubt! There’s an element of the fleeting aspects of life in this, very nice. It’s good to be around for a while, thanks for stopping by to say hi!
Fish scales on a tree…very cool. Love this!
I like the chained rhyme pattern ~ And that is a an interesting tree phenomenon, trees or sap bleeding ~
Cool rhyme and form experimentation…and the image is striking.
The flow here is incredible with this format and repetition. The repetition binds all of the lines together perfectly
love the form, it really made your words sing. and once again, love the photo!
That’s an interesting pattern ~ love the topic
The form resembles loop poetry a bit !! very cool !
Interesting rhyme pattern here, and of course the contemplation of the image is potent, and somehow (to me), peaceful.
that is cool that you are playing with developing your own form…was inspired a bit by davids forms at form for all myself…what makes trees bleed and who is it that scars them…for some i think it is the birds…i am rather fond of trees….when did life dim…well that is a whole other question, now isnt it?
Fish scales on a tree… interesting image. I love how you trailblazed your own pattern here, very original.
I like this pattern…and you worked well.
you’re truly the master of words. this is resonating and perfect to recite. just gorgeous~
Very interesting! The words go great with the image, I’m glad you included it!
very cool rhyme combo…great and harmonious flow in this…bleeding trees make me sad and it really looks like the tree’s bleeding…ugh…
Oh, Geez…it is complicated enough! Of course it reminds me of sonnets….form…but isn’t. Kudos to you for this complex poem. I am going to have to read it again, but it pulls me there.
Lady Nyo
Love your word weaving here!